


You Say Hey, I Panic

by NateTheWolf



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, OC's - Freeform, Panic Attacks, gynophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 04:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17801117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NateTheWolf/pseuds/NateTheWolf
Summary: Clara has Gynophobia and somebody thinks it's a good idea to send her a hot stripper.





	1. Everybody Panic

A loud knock on the door startled Clara into dropping the pen and paper on her lap. She looked up and saw a tall figure on the other side but couldn't see anything else. Confused, she got up and opened the door. 

"Hey there," a tall ginger woman in a skimpy police uniform greeted, and then pushed past her into the house. "Okay, I have a few rules. No touching me without my permission," she counted on her fingers. "No sexual acts unless both parties fully consent, any hesitation and it won't happen. I have had a few female clients, and I'm okay with it so I know my stuff. No video recordings – actually, no camera's or phones turned on unless I grab mine and pass it to you. And fi – Are you okay there? You seem... Oh my God, have I got the wrong house? Y-You're Clara Oswald yeah?"

Clara nodded, "U-Um... I-I th-think..."

"You think what? What's wrong?"

She gulped and looked towards the door, and back at the woman. "Um... W-Who er... C-Called you?"

"This man – at least I think he was a man, he did seem quite young – um, his name was Callum. Do you know him?"

The brunette sighed shakily and unsteadily walked to the sofa. She almost fell into the woman with a squeak, but she managed to regain balance and sat down on the sofa. "H-He's not my g-greatest fan, you c-could say... Um... I-I'm sorry, b-but c-could you leave?"

The woman went closer to her and eyed her, making Clara's breathing hitch. "I can't leave you like this Clara, you look like you're about to have a panic attack."

"T-Trust me... I-It would b-be better if y-you left..."

"Why?" She sat down next to her. 

"I-I er... H-Have Gynophobia..." Clara's breathing came is short gasps as she looked at the woman, and then she tried to shuffle away. 

The woman's eye's widened as she shot up and stumbled backwards, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

"I-It's fine... Y-You didn't know. C-Callum d-does s-stuff like this a lot... Well... T-This is new..."

"Wait, he knows you have Gynophobia and he sends me to you? That bastard!" The woman shook her head in dismay. "Dick."

"Y-Yeah... He k-kinda is... Now... I'm s-sorry but could you go?" Clara asked as she stood up shakily and motioned towards the door. 

"Oh, yes of course," she walked to it, but turned around to look at Clara. "I'm sorry but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you like this... Do you have anyone I can call?"

"S-Smith... D-Doctor Smith... Number's on m-my fridge..."

The woman ran to the kitchen and got out her mobile to phone him. "Ah yes, hello. Is a Doctor Smith there? Um... Amy, but I'm calling on behalf of Clara Oswald... Yeah, I know... Just pass me onto him, will you?!" Clara looked in the direction of the kitchen when she heard the woman – assumingly Amy now – raise her voice at the assistant on the other end and decided to sit back down.  "Ah yes, hey there. Doctor Smith I assume? Good! Listen, some inconsiderate asshole sent me to her house and now she seems to be having a panic attack – Yes, I know of her – Listen, I need you over here, she can't get to the phone right now. No, it's not because I'm on the phone. Can you get here or not?"

Clara went to say something but heard Amy sigh loudly, so she decided to keep quiet. 

"Um... Are you sure? I don’t want to leave her alone, but I don't think that would help eit... Y-Yeah... Um... O-Okay sir..." She hung up and cautiously walked into the living room. "Um... He told me to get you up there immediately... I know it's not ideal, but I can get a taxi and sit as far as possible from you... You're not in any position to get up there yourself if you can't stand up by yourself..."

"Um... Y-Yeah... I a-agree with b-both of you," her breathing increased as well as her shaking. "B-But uh... Well w-we don't k-know each other..."

"Oh, well," she paused for a moment before texting for a taxi, and then focused more on Clara. "We can sort out names and stuff when you're not having a panic attack... D-Does texting work for you, or is it any communication or sight of a girl?"

"Um... I h-haven’t tried that before... M-Maybe it could if I d-don't have your n-name or p-picture?"

"Great, well when we're at the hospital I'll put my number in your mobile, sound good?"

"Um... S-Sure... W-Why are y-you helping m-me?" Clara went to stand again but fell back on the sofa. 

"I feel responsible for... Well, this," she motioned towards Clara. "So, I want to help in any way I can. I know I can't do much since I'm the cause, but yeah..."

"T-That's very... N-Nice of you er... A-Amy?" 

"Oh yeah, my name's Amy. Amy Pond," she grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, with all that's going on I forgot about formalities..."

"W-Well, I guess y-you b-being my s-stripper at first, you would f-forget about t-that stuff..." Clara managed to calm down her breathing slightly. 

Amy blushed and scratched the back of her head nervously, "Oh y-yeah... I almost forgot about that..."

"Y-Your d-demeanor is v-vastly d-different..." She observed. 

"I guess it has yeah," she laughed nervously. A beep was heard outside that made both of them jump and turn to the door. "Taxi's here. Can you walk out on your own?"

Clara looked between the door and Amy and then nodded. "I-If you go first m-maybe?"

"Oh, yeah sure..." Amy walked over to the door, "Don’t forget your phone."

Clara nodded and waited for her to leave before getting her mobile from the kitchen counter. She took several deep breathes to try to calm herself down and distract herself from the thought of sharing a taxi with a girl, a strange attitude changing stripper at that, yet cute despite the fact she's female. A few minutes later she walked out of the house with her key and locked the door before sitting in the back of the taxi, seeing as Amy was in the front with the driver. Once she got in and buckled up Amy told the driver to get to the hospital as soon as possible. 

When they got to the hospital Amy stood at the other side of the car and looked up at Clara, who was still shaking. "Um... You don't happen to have money, do you?"

Clara's eyes widened as she shook her head.

"Okay, um... Do you know your way to your doctor's room from here?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"Okay, I'll get money out, you go to your doctor. Oh, can I have your phone? To put my number in it so you don't have to worry about that interaction when you get out?"

"How d-do I know I-I know y-you'll give it b-back?" Clara leaned on the car as she grabbed her phone from her back pocket.

"You don't," Amy smiled slightly. "You'll just have to trust me on it. I'll be in reception, but if I leave before or anything I'll bring it back to your house."

Clara thought for a moment, but the more she was around this girl the worst her control of breathing and standing got. So, she threw it at her – luckily, she caught it – and rushed off to Dr. Smith's room. The walk to the room was hell to Clara. There were a lot of people. Some nurses went up to her and asked if she was okay, which only made her worst. She knocked on the door, and shakily sighed when he told her to walk in.

"Ah, Clara Oswald," he grinned as he adjusted his bowtie. "How may I help you today?" 


	2. Awkward Encounters

Once Amy apologized and paid the taxi driver she ran to the reception and sat down on an empty row of seats. She sighed. She grabbed her and Clara's mobile to exchange the numbers. Luckily, Clara didn't have a password on her mobile, so Amy could get into it to find her number and add herself as a contact. Despite her Gynophobia, Clara seemed like a nice girl, and Amy wanted to help all she could.

Amy sat there awkwardly with her mobile in hand, and Clara's in her pocket, waiting for her to return.  Nervously, she tapped her mobile against her trembling leg; her head nodding slightly to imaginary music to keep herself distracted. However, as she got lost in her own head, she never noticed the man that sat right next to her.

"Do you have my daughter's mobile?"

She jumped and looked up the man. He had brown hair and eyes like Clara's, except less chocolate colour it seemed to her, it was more a mud colour. 

"Oh," she looked up at the man with a nervous smile, who just scowled at her. She was about to pass it to him but thought not to in case he didn't know Clara. "Can you tell me her full name sir?"

"Clara Oswald," he sighed, clearly irritated. "She got Smith to call me since you had her mobile."

"Yeah, sorry. I just had to check, here you go," Amy passed him the mobile. "She should get a password on that thing."

"She doesn't already?" he put it in his pocket and looked at the her.

"No," she shrugged. "Then again, I don't think she gets out much."

"No, she doesn't," he sighed. 

Suddenly, Amy became apprehensive and fully turned to face her father. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make that assumption-"

"Why are you still here?"

She was taken back by his sudden aggressive tone and shrank back into her seat like a child. "Um... I w-want to make sure she's okay..."

"You're the reason she's here today," he snapped. "Just go back to whatever party you came from and leave my daughter alone."

Amy flinched. She looked down at her attire, remembering what she was dressed as, and blushed slightly. "Um... Yes sir... I'm s-sorry for causing so much trouble..." 

She got up from her seat and ran out. When she ran down the street with tears in her eyes she got shouts from immature boys, some men – who would get hit by their girlfriends – and some elderly people told her she was indecent and that she should be ashamed. Those words stung. Hurt even. Amy found a tree outside an almost empty park and slumped down to lean against it to catch her breathe. She pulled her knees to her chest and couldn't hold back anymore. Amy burst out crying as quietly as she could so she wouldn't get the attention of the children. Sadly, that didn't work out so well.

"Why are you crying?"

She sniffed and wiped her eyes as she tried to calm down. "Y-You're not supposed to talk to strangers' kid."

"I know," the brunette boy nodded. "I asked Daddy if I could speak to you, and he said yes. Hey, my name's Jack, what's yours miss?"

Amy looked behind him at a taller man watching them, and he lifted his head up to her, almost like a nod. She looked down at herself and blushed as she put her legs down. "Amy."

"See? We're not strangers anymore," Jack beamed. 

"He's not bothering you is he, miss?" the man asked as he put a hand on his son's shoulder. 

"N-No, he's not. Um..."

"I just asked why she was crying," Jack said defensively as he looked up at his Dad. 

"That's not a nice thing to ask Jacky," the father kneeled down to his height. "Maybe something really bad happened."

"Hm. Okay," he turned back to Amy. "I'm sorry officer."

"Oh, I'm not a police woman," she laughed nervously. "I'm just wearing this from a fancy dress party."

"Did something happen at that party miss?" the father asked.

Sensing what he was getting at, she stood up and brushed herself off. "No, no, nothing like that. I left early, it was boring. I uh... G-Got told off and hollered at by people as I ran here..."

"Jack, please go back to the park with your friends," the man told as he lightly pushed him. Jack looked between Amy and his Dad, and then nodded and ran back to the park. "My name's Leon by the way, what may yours be?"

"Amy sir."

"No need for that Amy, Leon is fine," he smiled. "Do you want to sit on a bench?"

Amy nodded and followed him to the bench inside the park. "So, uh... How old is Jack?"

"He's five," he smiled. "Do you have any siblings?"

"No, I do not," she looked around at all the children playing in the park. "You?"

"I have a sister. She's an entertainer like you... Well, kind of."

"Kind of? And what do you mean like me?" she turned to him.

"She entertains people using her body at parties. Not stripping or prostitution, but she did call it something... It's only a side job though. Her main job is an accountant, but she claims she likes the kissing side of it..."

"Oh! She's a Kissogram! Yeah, I used to be one of those... I'm a stripper kinda, but only for people that I know or their friends," Amy looked down at her lap. "Well, besides Clara... She was a special case... Kinda..."

"So, she's a stranger?"

"Was... Still is actually..."

"How was she a special case?" he waved at his son when he went down the slide and turned back to Amy.

"Um... Well there was a lot of money involved and we live in the same street, and I got told she was hot. So, I thought, why not? Shame it didn't work so well..."

"And why didn't it work so well?"

"Turns out she has Gynophobia," she muttered as she fiddled with her hands nervously.

"Whoa, really?" Leon saw the expression on Amy's face, and grabbed her hands reassuringly. 

"A jackass named Callum called me, told me to go to her for a celebration of sorts. He never told me what the celebration was for, which did alarm me a little... But I shrugged it off thinking it was a personal matter. Turns out he likes to play tricks like that – well, I don't think like that but yeah – on her for his and his friends' amusement. They think it's funny to give someone a panic attack just by seeing a girl or being in close proximity to them. Ugh, he's such a dick!"

"I agree. It's very immature to do that to a person with such a severe condition. Even though it is uncommon for a girl to have Gynophobia. Do you know why he did that?"

Amy shook her head, "No, we never got that far in talking. I only knew her name because of Callum, she probably wouldn't have told me otherwise..."

"Hmm. And is this the reason you were crying?"

"What?" she looked up at him. "Oh! N-No, her being taken to hospital wasn't the reason I was crying..."

"Wait, you took her to the hospital? How?"

"Taxi. I sat in the front and she sat in the back. I also paid for it. But whilst I was waiting her Dad got called to pick her up I guess, and he saw me. He uh... Got pissed at me, which is understandable. It got me upset so I ran here..."

"You ran all the way from the hospital? That's three hills away!" he mock gasped. 

"Oh, shut it," she giggled as she pushed him gently. "On the way a load of people called at me inappropriately... And this elderly couple told me I should be ashamed... With all of that and Mr. Oswald being mad at me... I couldn't help myself..." 

"And you burst out crying," he concluded. "Well, just try your best to ignore them. I know that is horrible advice, but those people are immature to yell things at you when you're clearly distraught. You just need to er... Push forward, I guess? And for this Oswald guy, I don't think all of his hate was on you. Barely any of it actually, he was probably just upset and annoyed that his daughter – seemingly only – was rushed to the hospital in a taxi with the reason she needed to see her doctor. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's your fault or anything, it's just that with her Gynophobia, severe at that, any girl is the cause of her panic attacks. Well, the reason would technically be the cause of her Gynophobia."

Amy thought for a moment, and then sighed as she slumped down on the bench. "I guess you're right. D-Do you have any daughters?"

"Actually, I do have one, she's fifteen now. I've always been the one to give advice on boys and bullies. Her mom died when she was six, and Jack's is in the hospital having a CAT scan now," Leon waved his hand dismissively when he saw Amy about to apologize or say something sympathetic. "Before you ask, she should be fine. My daughter is by blood, I'm Jack's Stepdad. My daughter has blonde hair like her mother, and her name is Laura. So, if I haven't answered any of your questions feel free to ask."

"Um... I think that's all yeah... I was going to say you'd be a great Dad for a daughter – a son too!"

Leon laughed and ruffled her hair, "It's alright kid. What are you? Like nineteen or something?"

She gasped and stared at him in shock, "That's exactly how old I am! How did you know?"

He just shrugged, "Lucky guess."

Amy looked at him, almost like she was trying to figure him out. She looked at him up and down, "Hmm, maybe."

"What?"

She jumped and looked at him quizzically. "Huh?"

"You said 'hmm maybe'," he said. "'Hmm maybe' what?"

"Y'know, if you didn't have those random strands of grey hair I would date you," she giggled, suddenly gaining more confidence than a second ago.

He just laughed and combed through his hair with his hand, "If you didn’t like this Clara girl you would probably go out with me. And if I wasn't already taken."

"What?" Amy blushed.

"The way you've been talking about her sweetie," he grinned. "It's obvious you like her."

"I-Is it...?"

"Yeah, and you did agree that she was hot. In your own way that you probably didn't notice."

"Do you major in the dark arts?" she squeaked as her face reddened. 

"Haha, no, I do not. Be great if I did though huh? That would be awesome. I did major is psychology a little when I was younger though."

"Hmm," Amy smiled. "So, you know what's in my head then? Can you tell everything about me?"

"Well, not everything. I haven't gotten a lot of information out of you, have I? You can ask me a question about yourself though and I'll try to answer you."

Amy thought for a while but shook her head. "Nah, you'll probably find some of my dark secrets or tell me something I don't want to know about myself..."

"Okay," Leon chuckled. "Well, you do seem better, at least a little, so my Dad skills aren't that bad eh?"

"They aren't no," she laughed. 

"Do you need to call anyone? Maybe a friend or family member?"

"Oh uh..." She grabbed her mobile from her pocket. "I can call a friend to pick me up. Mels should be free... Hopefully."

"Text or call or facetime, whatever you young'uns' do nowadays to get in contact," he waved his hands dramatically. 

Amy laughed, "Oh c'mon you're not that old! And err... Yeah, I'll text her."

"I'm forty-three," he smiled. "You do that whilst I take Jack back to his mom, she should be out of the room by now. I'll come by with Jack, he'll want to see that you're not crying anymore, is that okay?"

Amy nodded and smiled at him as he left. She texted Mels to pick her up soon, and she replied straight away with the thumbs up emoji. Amy could only take that as a yes. 

"Hey Amy!" Jack hugged her leg and grinned at her. "You feeling better?"

"Yes," she grinned and patted his head. "Thanks, Jack."

"I did nuthin'," he grinned and looked back at his Dad. "Mommy is waiting for us at the Hospigal!"

Amy giggled at his speech, finding it adorable. She grinned at him and stood up with a stretch, "My friend is waiting for me too."

"Okay, have fun with your friend Amy!" he hugged her leg again, and then bolted off. 

"He's still way too hyper," Leon sighed. Amy laughed and lightly hit him on the shoulder. "What was that for?"

"It's a sign of a joking appreciation in my generation... Kinda... I dunno, I'm sorry I panicked," she rushed out. "Um, Jacks probably half way up that hill, you better catch him before he knocks someone over."

"Haha yeah. Is your friend picking you up then?" Amy nodded. Leon smiled at her and hugged her. 

"Um..." She awkwardly hugged back. "What is this for?"

"Sorry, I just felt like you needed a hug."

She smiled into his chest and properly hugged him, "Thank you Leon. Seriously, thank you."

"It's alright sweetie," he smiled and slowly pulled back. "You're right, I better catch up with him before he knocks someone over. I'll see you around maybe?"

"Uh... Yeah. I hope so anyway," she grinned nervously. 

"Hey, don't give up on that Clara girl," he grinned and ran off to catch up with his son. 

He left Amy standing there flustered. She thought about it and smiled slightly to herself. She jumped when she heard someone yell at her. "Oi Officer hotty!"

Amy turned around to see Mels running up to her with a grin on her face. "Hey Mels. Thanks for picking me up on such short notice."

"It's fine!" Mels grabbed onto her hand. "But c'mon... I kinda parked illegally..."

"What? Again, seriously Mels?" Amy sighed and rolled her eyes as she followed her down the path to see her red – probably stolen – Lamborghini half on the path, grass, and road with double yellow lines on the side. "The car too?"

"Yes, the car too! Get in loser, I'm taking you home," she winked and jumped in the driver's seat. Amy merely followed and sat in the passenger seat that didn't have a seat belt. "Oh yeah, uh... I'll drive slow, don't worry."

"What am I going to do with you eh?"

"Hopefully nothing," Mels smiled and started up the car. 

* * *

Once Amy escaped that stolen death trap on wheels she got dressed into her comfy pajama's and slumped down on the sofa with a huff. She flicked through the channels for a while until she got bored and looked at the time. It was 5pm. She figured Callum would be out of work by now like he had told her, if not his co-workers would hear him get told off. The phone range twice before he answered it.

"Ah hello Pond," he greeted slyly. "If you want any extra money I can get you another job. How did it go with Clara?"

"Listen here you dick," she growled at the thought of him wanting her over for God knows what. "You do not get a girl with Gynophobia a female stripper! Or get anyone a stripper unless they've implied they want one. Clara had a panic attack and had to get rushed to the hospital! A-Are you laughing?!"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Geez, the look on her face when you walked through the door must've been priceless! Haha! But Amy, you do know she doesn't actually have Gynophobia right? She figured out she was a lesbo in school and since then she's hated interaction with pretty girls 'cause she gets all flustered and her parents probably don't know. So, she has to act like she doesn't have any female friends for them not to get the wrong idea. Since she barely goes outside anymore she was probably overwhelmed by a hot girl such as yourself – in a police uniform no less – in her house and just freaked out a little and tried to come up with a panic attack to make you go away."

It took a few seconds for Amy to process the absurdity of what Callum had just said. It seemed like he had that rehearsed. For him to lie about Clara like that, and blame it on her sexuality, it really pissed the Scot off. 

“You little piece of-”

Before she could scream at him he hung up. Amy stared at the mobile in her hand, momentarily puzzled, and then threw it out of anger. It hit the wall. Amy sighed and ran over to check that it wasn’t broken, knowing she did not have enough money to repair or replace it. Luckily, the mobile was fine bar from a small crack in the corner of the screen. It was barely noticeable. 

“Well, that’s a relief,” she muttered to herself before putting the device in her pocket. When she sat back down she decided to call Callum again to get some of her rage off her chest. The mobile rang for a second before an automated voice responded. “What the...? Did that bastard block me?”

She rolled her eyes before pocketing her mobile again. If Callum didn’t want to talk that was fine, but Amy made a mental note to kick his ass when she next saw him. Despite the pent-up anger, she felt hungry, and decided to make herself some dinner before Aunt Sharon came home. 

“What to do, what to do,” Amy muttered to herself as she looked at the freezer food. All that was there was microwave food. Lasagna, curry, chips, mash and sausage, toad in the hole... 

Amy felt a buzz in her pocket and looked at it confused. She wasn’t expecting anyone to text her at this time. When she got her mobile out she saw that the text message was from Clara.

_Clara: Um hey..._

_Officer A: Hey... Are you okay now?_

_Clara:_ _Yeah,_ _I am now thanks. Officer A really?_

Amy laughed.

_Officer A: Well it's quite_ _androgynous_ _-y and I thought it was funny..._

_Clara: Yeah, I had to explain to Dad why I laughed at my phone for no apparent reason. Oh, sorry about him at the hospital today. He told me how he acted and he apologizes for it._

_Officer A: Oh no, it's alright. He was right to say what he did._

_Clara:_ _No,_ _he wasn’t. It wasn't your fault, you had no clue and was sent by_ _Callum_ _._

_Officer A: Oh, about him. I might have called him to_ _tell_ _him off for what he did..._

_Clara: Wow really? What did he say?_

_Officer A: He just laughed and hung up... And then he blocked my number so I couldn't call back..._

_Clara: You actually tried calling him back?_

_Officer A: Yeah! He was a dick to you, he deserves to be yelled at! He also asked for his money back since I didn’t do my routine..._

_Clara: You didn't_ _did_ _you?_

_Officer A: Of course not! He's an_ _asshat_ _for wanting it_

_Clara:_ _Asshat_ _? That’s what you're going with?_

_Officer A:_ _….._

_Officer A: Yes?_

_Clara:_ _Haha_ _. Well, '_ _asshat_ _' it is then. He shall hence forth be known as_ _Callum_ _the_ _Asshat_ _!_

_Officer A:_ _Haha_ _yes!_

_Clara:_ _So_ _uh... How was your day?_

_Officer A: It was alright. I met a guy and his son, he was funny and sweet. I'm sure I would have died in Mels car if the speed limit wasn't 20._

Amy looked over her text to make sure she didn't use any pronouns in case it made Clara panic. 

_Clara: How? Are they a bad driver?_

_Officer A: Well... No, but it's stolen and my seat didn't have a seat belt..._

_Clara: Why would you get in a car?!_

_Officer A: I needed a lift and Mels is the only one that responded to my text._

_Clara: Lift from where?_

_Officer A: The park near the hospital_

_Clara: Why were you at the park?_

_Officer A: I needed some air after the interaction with your Dad..._

_Clara: Really? Ugh, I'm so sorry about him._

_Officer A: No, no, he's okay. Anyway... How has the rest of your day been?_

_Clara: It's been good, Dad got me a McDonalds when we got home, so I didn't have to cook._

_Officer A: You cook?_

_Clara: Well, mainly_ _Soufflés_ _... But sometimes I do us dinner if he's working late._

_Officer A: Ooh, right._ _Soufflés_ _? Are they nice?_

_Clara: Well... I made one, but it was too beautiful to live..._

_Officer A: How can one be too beautiful to live?_

_Clara:_ _….._

_Clara: I burnt it..._

_Clara: And it didn't rise..._

_Officer A: At least you tried. I can't do deserts like that._

_Clara: Do you cook?_

_Officer A: Yeah. Mainly frozen or tinned food. I can't make anything from scratch._

_Clara: Sorry to cut this short, but I have to go now._ _Er_ _... Night._

_Officer A: It's okay! Goodnight._

Amy set down her mobile and sighed. It had been one crazy day for her, but also a brilliant one. She had found a new friend and met a cute kid in the process. 

"Yup," she sighed to herself. "One crazy day." 


End file.
